Trishna Hota
When a Promotion Setback Became a Leadership Turning Point
She already knew how to work with people. As an HR professional, Trishna had handled difficult conversations, different points of view and sensitive situations before. What she had to learn was how to handle these moments differently. She began paying closer attention to her own reactions, understanding what others were feeling and choosing how to respond instead of simply reacting.
From Effort to Executive Presence
Communication Intelligence Alumni
-
Leadership Milestone
Communication Intelligence Alumni | Zenith Leadership Circle
-
Joined Zenith
June 2024
-
Designation
HR Professional
-
Country
Dubai, UAE
-
Leadership Milestone
Communication Intelligence Alumni | Zenith Leadership Circle
-
Joined Zenith
June 2024
-
Designation
HR Professional
-
Country
Dubai, UAE
“I thought doing more would move me forward. I later realized that some of my biggest growth came from learning what to stop doing. Once I became more aware of how I responded, shared and sought approval, I began showing up with greater clarity and confidence.”
- Trishna Hota
I Thought I Needed to Do More. I Had to Learn What to Stop Doing.
For a long time, I believed career growth worked in a fairly simple way: if I worked hard, delivered consistently, stayed committed and took on more than what was expected of me, the next opportunity would eventually follow.
I was doing the work. I was staying late when required, taking responsibility and giving my best to the role. So when an opportunity came up to move into the Head of HR position, I genuinely believed I had earned the right to be considered. I was not selected.
The message from my manager, even if it was not expressed in exactly these words, was difficult to accept: my performance was strong, but I was not yet being experienced as leadership ready.
I was angry. I was hurt. For a while, I was convinced they had failed to recognize everything I was already doing. It took me much longer to ask a more uncomfortable question: What if they had seen something I had not yet been willing to see?
I Was Working Hard, but I Was Still Waiting for Permission
One of the biggest things I eventually recognized was how often I looked for approval before acting. I could have an idea, see an opportunity to improve something and know exactly what could be done, yet I still felt the need to check, confirm and receive reassurance before moving forward.
At the time, I saw this as being responsible. Later, I began understanding the difference between being careful and being dependent on approval.
A leadership role would require me to exercise judgment, make decisions and take ownership without needing validation at every step. I could not keep saying, “I am doing all the work,” while still waiting for someone else to give me permission to think and act like the person already holding the next role. That was only one part of it.
I was also very open with people. I wanted to be helpful, approachable and kind, so I shared easily, sometimes too easily. I could treat people as confidants before considering whether that level of sharing was appropriate, and I had not understood how something said in one context could return in another and affect the way people experienced my professional authority.
I had spent years asking myself what more I should do. Zenith made me ask something I had rarely considered: “What do I need to stop doing?”
My Not-to-Do List Changed More Than Another To-Do List Ever Had
Communication Intelligence™ helped me see that growth was not always going to come from adding another behaviour, another skill or another item to an already long list. Some of the greatest changes came from subtraction.
I had to notice the extra smile that appeared because I wanted everyone to remain comfortable, the extra explanation that weakened a point that had already been made, the extra sharing that did not belong in every relationship, the emotional reaction that entered a conversation before I had properly understood what was happening, and the instinct to look for approval when the situation required judgment.
I began building my own Not-to-Do List and then observing myself against it.
That process was not always comfortable because feedback can show you things you would rather believe are harmless parts of your personality. But gradually I stopped treating feedback as criticism and started using it as information.
I did not need to become colder or less human. I needed to become more discerning.
As the unnecessary behaviours reduced, something interesting happened: I did not have to work so hard to create authority. The qualities that were already strong in me became easier for people to see.
When we strengthen the person behind the communication, every conversation begins to create a different future.
When I began working with Trishna, I saw a genuinely warm, generous and kind-hearted professional who was trying very hard to do everything right. The problem was not that something important was missing from her personality. In many ways, too much was getting in the way of what was already there.
Too much approval-seeking, too much sharing, too much emotional involvement in every interaction and too much effort to ensure that everyone around her remained comfortable were quietly diluting the authority she wanted people to recognise.
Most professionals arrive with another long to-do list. Very few have ever been helped to identify their Not-to-Do List.
With Trishna, that became critical. Once she began removing the behaviours that were obscuring her judgment and composure, the stronger parts of her personality did not need to be manufactured; they simply became more visible.
Sometimes a relatively small percentage of our behaviour is hiding a much larger percentage of our capability. Trishna’s transformation came from having the courage to identify that part and work on it consistently.
Communication Intelligence Mentor
I Stopped Treating Emotion as Something That Simply Happened to Me
Another major shift was understanding emotional intelligence differently.
Earlier, I could walk into a conversation primarily from my own perspective. I knew the outcome I wanted, the information I needed to share and what I thought was reasonable, but I did not always spend enough time considering how the other person was likely to experience the conversation.
I began asking different questions. How is this person likely to hear what I am about to say? Where could resistance come from? What emotion may already be present before the conversation begins? What objection can I address before it turns into conflict? How do I preserve the outcome without ignoring the person receiving it?
That changed the way I handled some of the most difficult responsibilities in HR. One of those moments came during an employee exit.
Communicating that somebody is no longer required in a role is never an easy conversation. It carries disappointment, uncertainty and often anger. Earlier, I would have been focused heavily on getting through the process correctly.
This time, I was equally conscious of the person experiencing it. I held the outcome, but I also paid attention to dignity, emotion and how the message was being received. The employee did not leave angry.
The person left expressing gratitude for the way the conversation had been handled and later wrote an email appreciating the process.
For me, that was a significant moment because I could see the difference between simply delivering difficult information and leading somebody through a difficult experience.
Then Communication Intelligence Created a Business Outcome
Another situation involved a high-value employee who was considering leaving after a misunderstanding with a senior person. It would have been easy to see the problem from one side, defend a position or allow the disagreement to harden.
Instead, I tried to understand what each person was actually experiencing. I listened for the emotion underneath the words, looked at the assumptions both sides were carrying and intervened at the point where the conversation could still be repaired.
I was able to act as a bridge between the employee and the senior stakeholder, help both sides understand what had been missed and create enough alignment for the employee to stay.
That moment meant a great deal to me because emotional intelligence had stopped being an abstract leadership concept. It has helped retain a valuable person for the organization.
When Other People Began Seeing What Had Changed
The shift gradually became visible to colleagues too.
During lunch one day, a colleague looked at me and said, in effect: “There is something different about you. What have you been doing?”
That question stayed with me because the changes I had been working on internally were now visible without me having to explain them. I invited that colleague to my Zenith graduation.
For me, it represented something important. I had started this journey believing that the promotion rejection proved I was not good enough. I was finishing it understanding that rejection very differently.
It had forced me to confront the difference between working hard enough to deserve recognition and developing the judgment, composure and influence required to carry leadership responsibility.
I No Longer See the Rejection as Something That Happened Against Me
If I had received that promotion when I expected it, I may never have questioned some of the behaviours that were already beginning to limit me. Being in HR meant I was accustomed to learning and development. Programs, workshops and communication training were not unusual to me.
But Communication Intelligence™ was different because it did not simply give me another set of skills to remember. It changed what I noticed about myself.
I became more aware of what I was adding unnecessarily, what I was assuming about other people, where emotion was affecting judgment and where my need for approval was preventing me from exercising the independence I wanted others to recognise in me.
Today, I do not believe that leadership readiness begins when someone finally gives you the title. It begins much earlier, in the way you think, choose, respond and take responsibility before anyone is required to call you a leader.
The promotion I did not receive initially felt like proof that something was missing in me. Looking back, I see it differently.
I did not need to become more. I needed to remove what was preventing people from experiencing what was already there.
It is knowing which part of what you know matters now.
Apply for a Strategy Session
Frequently Asked
Strong performance demonstrates capability in a current role, but leadership readiness may also require independent judgment, emotional intelligence, stakeholder influence and the ability to handle difficult situations without constantly seeking approval. Trishna’s experience shows how doing excellent work and being experienced as ready for broader leadership responsibility are not always the same thing.
Trishna learned to identify behaviours that were diluting her authority, including approval-seeking, oversharing and emotionally reactive communication. Through her Not-to-Do List, ongoing feedback and greater attention to other people’s perspectives, she became more composed, outcome-driven and deliberate in difficult HR conversations.
Emotional intelligence helps leaders anticipate how another person may receive a message, recognise resistance before it escalates and respond without losing sight of the required outcome. In Trishna’s case, this helped her handle a difficult employee exit with dignity and intervene successfully in a misunderstanding that could have resulted in the loss of a valuable employee.
